The Freedom Within by Amaresh Nugadoni

Introduction to Amaresh Nugadoni

Amaresh  Nugadoni  born in 1960, in the Raichur district manvi near nugadoniyalli was born.

Amaresh Nugadoni is a well-known short story writer in Kannada. He is working as Associate Professor, Department of Kannada Literature Studies, Kannada University, Hampi. Apart from collections of short stories, he published many research works. One of his short stories was made into a National Award-winning film by Girish Kasaravalli.

The Freedom within Theme

“Birds are born to fly free and no one should steal their freedom from them”. In nature, birds engage in social activities such as taking sand baths, playing hide-and-seek, dancing, building nests with their mates and nurturing their young.

Birds are generally known to symbolize freedom because they can walk on the earth and swim in the sea like us humans, but they also have the ability to fly into the sky. A lot of cultures believe that they symbolize eternal life and some would say that they serve as the connection between heaven and earth.

The Freedom within Explanation

Spent the whole of yesterday in spraying pesticides and watering  plants till his energy was exhausted. Normally every day before sunrise he would go around the farm and then attend to his morning ablutions. But today when he opened his eyes and rushed out of his hut, it was already dawn. The fog was just disappearing. The distant hills were shining in sun's golden rays. The birds were swimming in the sky. The sparrows in the nearby acacia tree were chirping in screechy voices. They must have built nests in the tree. They chirped so loudly only when some danger neared them. So, he looked around the tree.

He peered inside the bushy tree. There must be a snake, he wondered, and soon spotted one. The snake's mouth was nearing a nest. "Go to hell, you!" He threw a stone in the direction. The snake became alert and began to crawl. Its guts seemed swollen. So the snake must have swallowed a few fledglings. He thought he should finish off the snake.

 

The chirping became noisy and louder. The snake would not crawl in good speed because of its increased weight. He threw one more stone at it as it was gliding along the trunk of the tree. The moment the stone hit it, the snake fell. He picked a larger stone to crush its hood, but the snake managed to disappear into a bush. He felt disappointed because the snake was now out of his reach. But it was surely injured. There was wound, and the ants were sure to gather. He felt quite relieved at the thought that the snake might not survive. Heavy with the strange excitement he continued to stand and stare. The sparrows soon returned to the nests but the noise had not subsided. One nest had fallen from

 

The tree. He picked it up and looked in to it to see three little fledglings with open mouths. The little ones were screaming. Their bodies felt sticky with blood. Their pitiable condition touched his heart. He felt guilty that the nest fell because of the stone he had thrown.

 

He climbed up the tree, placed the nest on a branch, winding its ends to the branches and hurriedly got down from the tree. Only getting down did he realise that the parent-sparrows might not go near the nests touched by humans. Moreover he had fixed the nest in some place he chose at random—so how could they recognize it? He felt very sorry Why did this snake appear the first thing this morning and why did it trouble me? He was worried, and looked in the direction of the bush where the snake disappeared. He saw a herd of stray cattle coming from that direction. Calling out 'Hohoooth!' he ran towards them with a staff in his hand. By that time three cows had already made their way through the barbed wire fence. The others were about to push themselves in the same way. So early in the day and so many stray cows trying to sneak in! He chased them till they lined up and descended the hill from the other side. The sun was already a yard up the horizon. The huge migrating birds that are in large number this year, normally set out before sunrise. They would go round the hill and return to the tank a few miles away from here. And, after dusk, they would fly past these hills to some unknown place. But this morning he could not see them because they had already flown away. He was the one who used to enjoy seeing them flying every morning and every evening.

 

When winter came, the birds would disappear; he has known this for six or seven years now. As he walked back he saw some plants being crushed by stray cattle. The barbed wire had become loose in certain places. Some poles were broken and some had and fallen. The whole thing needed repair. He has been reminding his boss Shamappa about it but he was putting it off because it involved much expenditure. If the wire fence was not repaired this time, he was sure the farm would be ruined by these stray cattle. Last year the mango tree had bloomed but they withered before they bore fruits. This was any way natural, because it was their first year. The lemon trees would yield fruits from next year. The coconut trees bloomed last year but the pods did not ripen. With these thoughts in mind he was walking about in the farm, when he heard human voices from a distance. He paused to listen. There were two children playing in the yard of the Hanuman temple which was on the top of Hanuman Hill. He was curious. Who are these? Why have they come here? He walked in the direction going past the well, and out of the farm. He climbed to the top. On seeing him the children ran inside the temple. A grown up person came out of the temple who folding his hands said we have come to serve lord hunumappa that must have been his wife who came out; children stood by her side. So it was a family. "I thought there was no one who cared to serve this Hanumappa. Here you have come to serve him." For some reason he felt overjoyed and looked at them in earnestness. He sat there and introduced himself as one from the nearby farm. They enquired of each other's health. That was a family from a distant village. They were faced by a problem for which a soothsayer had suggested that they served this god for three days. The family would stay in the temple for three days. They would even cook food there itself. He listened to them. He had very little human relations because he was always in the company of plants and trees, hills and forests or birds and animals.

 

He heard the call: "Shivayya." He rose to go. When he reached the garden he learnt that Shamappa had brought him food. Shamappa's face had become tense, looking at the plants broken by stray cattle. Trying not to show it he walked about in the farm. "By the time winter ends, I hope these plants would bloom!" Shivayya said, "Before ellamasi* (Yellu Amavasya) the sun's heat will increase, the mangoes will bloom. It won't happen like it happened last year. There shall be fruits this time." "Yes, yes. But the yield of the first few years will not be considerable. We can expect yield from coconut, lemon and mango trees from this year onwards." Shamappa walked about in the farm and returned to the hut. "This Ugadi, we have to arrange for a feast for all the people of the town, and give gifts of fruits. Next year onwards we can take them to the market."

 

Shivayya suggested, "We can either take the produce to the market ourselves or give it to the agent."  "Shivayya, without you would this garden be what it is?" "Eppa, what is there in my hands? You brought me here, gave me food and shelter. So, here I lie keeping a watch on the farm, that's all." There was good understanding between them. No discrimination as the boss and the servent. Shivayya was past middle age. He had been a servant of a priest in a temple before he came to this farm. He used to eat whatever he was fed with. He would help the visiting pilgrims in various ways.

 

 

But he never expected money from them. Many a time he would be happy to have a meal with them, that's all. One day Shamappa came to the temple as a pilgrim. As usual Shivayya took him around the place. He showed him the place to spend the night. They had meal

 

together. Shamappa was pleased with his gentelness and wanted to give him ten rupees as a tip, but Shivayya refused saying, "That I could share your food is more than enough." Looking at Shivayya at such moments was like looking at God himself. Pleased with his sincerity, Shamappa said, "Do come over to my place. We have a farmland. You could work on the farm and stay there. I shall arrange for your stay." Shivayy agreed and followed him.

 

Shamappa's was a small family consisting of his wife, a fifteen year old son and himself. He owned ancestral property of three and a half acres of farmland. That was at the foot of Hanuman Hill. The town

 

was also at the foot of the hill. But Shamappa had to leave the town along with his family when he got into government service. When plague broke out everybody vacated the village and settled down in different places. People continued to stay there and did not return to the town. But after he retired from service Shamappa returned with a desire to spend the rest of his life in his village. He desired to resume cultivation. He went to look around the place. It was difficult to make out that there was a farmland or a town there. He wandered around Hanuman Hill. The farm had grown wild thanks to the wind and rain it was exposed to. Many of the houses had met with a similar fate. Shamappa got his land measured and. Marked out by the government, and got the old well repaired so there was enough water for the farm. He got several hands to work on the ruin and made it a farm. A barbed wire fence was put up around the land, and lemon, mango and coconut trees were planted. After much hardship, Shamappa succeeded in giving it the shape of a proper farm. But he had no one to look after the farm. Those that he found would not stay longer than a few months. "Who can spend the nights in the wild?" They would say. It was true. The nearest town was quite far from there. It was just when Shamappa was worrying about it that he came across Shivayya. Shivayya liked the quiteness of the place. He decided to stay on and raise a hut for himself. Either Shamappa or his son would bring food to his hut. When Shivayya came to stay, the lemon, mango and coconut plants were only six months old. Shivayya spent all his time on the farm caring for them, watering them and spraying pesticides whenever they were in need. In about six years he became part of nature. He became familiar to birds as well! There were not many wild animals in the vicinity. The farm was safe but for the stray cattle from nearby towns. Shivayya was quite happy. Shamappa recollected all these....

 

2

 

Shivayya got up before sunrise and went round the farm. The world around felt wet because of the fog. Birds seemed afraid to come

 

out because of the cold. Not even stray cattle had stirred yet. As he returned to the hut for washing, he heard some strange sound from the well. He neared the spot, and on seeing what he saw, he stood still in bewilderment. She was pouring water on herself. Not a bit of clothing on her. Shocked by the sight, he stepped back. He saw her get up and walk in the direction of Hanuman Hill. He saw her climb the hill and circumambulate the temple. It was early dawn still. Shivayya was perturbed. He was reminded of his wife. He tried hard but could not help the excitement.... For some silly reason he had quarelled with his wife. It was a bitter moment that had faded away in his mind. Now, this family staying in Hanuman Hill brought to him memories of his family.... He sat with them and chatted for long hours. He suffered an inexplicable pain .... He  beganto lose  his sanity. He could not attend to the farm as before. The next two days he clandestinely watched the woman bathing in the well and going round the temple of Hanuman. His excitement increased. His family life, forgotten all these fifteen years, came back before his eyes. He wondered if he could go back to his wife and embrace her immediately. The enormous strength that he had earned from his life of harmony with nature began to give way. He was losing himself. These three days, stray cattle had sneaked several times into the farm and caused destruction. Shivayya chased them several times. Shamappa was quite upset about it. He was sad that the farm was being destroyed by cattle that could be stopped. He warned Shivayya about it. The next day, after having completed the three-day-long service to Lord Hanumappa, the family departed. Shivayya had spent the day indoors worrying  himself.

 

3

Shivayya tried to get himself out of the worrying. The anxiety did not leave him. He felt that his mind was heavy. So his eyes would not close. He got up and came out of the hut. There were signs of approaching dawn. The landscape was foggy. Cold felt prickly on his skin. Birds lodged in shrubs and trees were getting ready to stir. As he was looking around for some time, the sun rose. The dew on the ground and grass began to shimmer in the sunlight. After looking at these various things, Shivayya stretched himself elaborately and yawned. He felt much better. He recalled the family that had returned the previous day, the family that had raised a storm within him. He was, unbeknown to himself, suffering day in and day out, only because of the storm raised by them. He had a terrible dream last night but he did not remember the details. Still it was a dream he had seen in a half sleep that continued to haunt him.

 

There was a white heron trying to perch on a distant coconut tree. Every time the bird, beating its wings, tried to settle on the long coconuts fronds, the frond would bend, heavy with the bird's weight. It looked as if the heron would fall from the bent frond but very soon the heron would beat its wings and poise itself in air, and the frond would resume its position .... Once again the bird would return to the same frond,

 

and once again rise with its beating wings to hover in the air. The whole episode was repeated several times. Shivayya stood there for a long time, watching the bird and the bending frond. Once smiling, once serious and once full of remorse. An inexplicable idea was brewing within him. Unable to find expression to it, he let go of it.

 

He looked in the direction of the farm. He was overcome by anxiety all of a sudden. The mango, lemon and coconut trees did not appear to him as usual. They looked somewhat disturbed. He walked a few steps in the direction and found that a major branch of the lemon tree was broken. The mango tree was severed in half, and the severed half was dangling from its place. The coconut trees were also disturbed, trampled upon. The entire farm looked as if attacked by cattle. Instantly a scene from his dream, where a huge herd of stray cattle were busy destroying everything in the farm passed before his mind. He was pained. He tried to set the broken branch of the lemon plant but it came off, completely severed from the main plant. He hugged the plant that he had nurtured. He saw his master standing on the other end of the farm. He was shocked to see Shamappa picking each broken twig, and running about like someone mad. He then called out,

 

Shivayya The scream stirred the morning quiet and resounded from all directions. Shivering shivayya neared his master. As he approached his master he saw that many more twigsand tendrils were affected. He sweated in spite of the cld weather. His face became shriveled. Shamappa stared at his servant. He continued to stare for quite a long time. Then he spoke, shivayya there is no point in scolding you. A servant is always a servant. We will build a house on the farm and we will look after te farm ourselves. You may also look after yourself rom now on. It seems our relationship has come to an end. He then left. Shivayya was sad. 'What could I do? I could not win the battle against myself. I am lost....' He walked to the hut. He saw the heron still trying to sit on the coconut frond. Whenever the tender frond glided, the heron jumped up. But the heron would not fall. Shivayya looked at it. A smile passed over his features. That heron doesn't depend on the frond but survives because of its ability to fly. It depends solely on its wings. Once again he looked around. He looked one last time at the farm, and, as if he filled the scene into his eyes, and contented, he walked out of the farm into the open.